Call Me Crazy
by TheCelestialNightIsDawning
Summary: Paine's feelings for Rikku are taking a turn toward romantic, and she really has absolutely no idea how to deal with something like that. It's quite funny at times. Rated M for sexual content.
1. Heat

_It's just the heat. Just this damn heat. _

That's what I told myself, sitting there on my bed trying to keep my eyes on anything other than the Al Bhed across from me. She was laying on her bed, sprawled out in nothing but a little yellow bikini. She had a hand held little fan blowing in her face, but that didn't stop the sweat from glistening off of her tanned body. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat of the afternoon and her breasts rose and fell beautifully with each long breath she took. To top it all off, her legs were open revealing enough of her sparkling thighs to peak my interest, which was unceasing.

_It's just the goddamn heat... It's making me crazy... _

"It's soooooo hot." She complained in a breathy voice.

"Stop whining." I said, annoyed at how sexy I found her right now.

"I was just saying!" Rikku retorted.

"Complaining isn't going to make it any cooler so shut up." Daggers laced my voice as I shot her a glare.

"Would you two just stop fighting for five seconds? I'm trying to work." The summoner interjected. She was sitting at a desk in the corner with reading glasses on. Apparently, trying to come up with a cipher to crack a clue to some sphere she thought might be interesting.

I rolled over and buried my face in my pillow. The red satin sheets were sticking to my body which was coated in a light sheen of sweat. I couldn't stay with my face like that for long, and I got up.

"I'm going to get a drink." I said as I stood up. There were red marks on my legs from the sticking sheets. I rubbed them in an attempt to get rid of them, but they wouldn't go away. I wiped my face with my red tank top before I headed down the stairs. It was way too hot to wear leather.

I sat down at the bar and ordered a bottle of vodka. I poured some into a glass, filling it. I was too bored to deal with shots. Barkeep stood at the bar eagre to watch me drink it. He said it was a new brand he was trying out because it was cheaper than the normal stuff. As I sipped the strong liquid my face contorted and my gag reflex almost got the better of me.

"Orange juice." I choked. "I need orange juice." Barkeep diligently ran off to get some, while I sat with my hand over my mouth to keep the vile substance in my throat.

"How ish it mish Paine?" Barkeep asked when he had returned.

"It's shit."As if he even needed to ask. I poured the orange juice in over the vodka, hoping it would mask the horrible taste. It did some, and I continued to drink it even though I would have preferred to dumped it out elsewhere. I was in the mood for alcohol regardless of the taste.

It was then I heard the footsteps of the blonde. I knew it was her because Yuna had a much lighter step. I didn't know how the girl could manage to be such a good thief when she was so clumsy and loud. I sighed as she sat on the stool next to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, still with a slight venom, as I still wasn't over the mishap of being turned on by her. Normally I wouldn't have said anything. But the bar wasn't a usual spot for Rikku and I wondered why she had followed me.

"You think you can leave me in there with miss crabby-pants? I don't think so!" She said. "And I didn't want to go to the bridge and be nagged on by the guys, or go to the deck alone, so I figured I'd sit here with you." She explained. She seemed a bit depressed, but I decided to ignore it.

"Would you like something mish Rikkoo?" Barkeep asked her.

"Ummm..." I watched her as her mouth turned into a pout and she raised her hand to her chin in thought. I had to turn away and stop looking at her, for fear of feeling the way I felt earlier. "Yeah, I'll have a strawberry daiquiri on crushed ice."

"Alcohol?" I questioned. "You're up to 52, Rikku." I said with a smirk.

"Aww, proud because I didn't order milk on the rocks?" She gave me a sly smile.

Dammit I was looking again! Oh hell, I couldn't help it. I'll just blame it on the alcohol... And the heat. Can't forget about that damn heat.

"I figure a day like today deserved a good drink anyway, don't you?" She asked me. I was surprised to see this more mature side of her. Barkeep returned with her daiquiri. I watched as she raised it to drink, her tongue flicking the rim of the glass even before it touched her lips.

I caught myself staring at her tongue caressing the rim of her glass, her eyes gazing ahead, her mind lost somewhere in the distance. I couldn't tear myself away. It was happening again. The heat was rising in me. It was torture. She was torturing me. And when I caught the slight glance she gave me and the smirk that followed led me to believe that she knew it.

"What are you looking at?" I asked.

"Me? You're the one staring at me." She said with a smile masked by a glass brought to her lips. Her pink perfect lips. My eyes darted to my vodka.

"I was not staring, I was just looking to see if you were actually going to drink that daiquiri or just make out with it." I stated, realizing only after I said this that the comment about making out with her glass may have been incriminating. She either didn't notice, or ignored it.

She raised her eyebrows at me with a look of interest and at first it had my heart racing. She didn't say anything. She took her daiquiri and flicked the glass once more with her tongue before pouring the liquid and ice down her throat and surprisingly it was gone in a few gulps. She then looked at me with accomplishment on her face.

"It's only a daiquiri, it's not like it's real liquor." I said, even though downing a daiquiri was quite a feat for someone who's usual was milk.

"Well I'll have some of this then!" She said and her arm reached past me and grabbed the nearly full bottle of vodka. I realized what was going to happen. If I was as uncaring as I pretended I wouldn't have warned her, but...

"Rikku, you might not want to..." I didn't have a chance. The bottle was already in her mouth and it was only mere seconds before the vodka was being spit across the bar.

"Eeeew!!!" She cried.

I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't stop myself. I laughed.

"Oh my god." A voice said from behind us. Rikku and I turned around, and there she was. Yuna, shaking her head in dismay, apparently having seen Rikku erupt with vile vodka and my bout of laughter. "I can't believe you two. Do you know how often you give me headaches?" She asked.

Rikku looked at me with skepticism. We both knew she gave us headaches more than we gave them to her. And I would like to take the moment to say Rikku gave me headaches more than anyone has ever gotten headaches before.

"I have to get out of here, you two are driving me crazy. I'm spending the night in Besaid with Lulu and Wakka." She said as she went into the elevator, no doubt going to the bridge where she would tell Brother that she wanted to be dropped off on Besaid Island because Rikku and I were just too much to handle.

Personally, I didn't really care. It might be nice. A night without the High Summoner. When I looked over at Rikku with a smile on her face a new thought emerged. It might be nice... Nice to have a night alone with Rikku.


	2. Close Encounters

That afternoon, sitting at bar, being glad to have a night alone with Rikku... I couldn't blame it on the heat anymore. Something was making me crazy, but it wasn't the temperature. It was my heart... My heart? Perhaps only my lust, not my heart.

My heart died a long time ago, I remembered. I hated remembering.

"Paine, what's wrong?" Rikku asked me.

"Nothings wrong." I lied.

"But you were just smiling, and now you're not. It was nice to see you smile, Paine." The statement caught me off guard. I didn't know what to do. I stared at the bar stool she was sitting on. Her long legs were hanging over the stool like a child's. Her feet resting on the metal bars that held the stool together rather than on the ground. It was gradually getting a bit cooler now and neither of us were sweating anymore even though it was still hot, but her legs were just as gorgeous as they were on her bed a half an hour earlier.

Okay staring at the barstool was a bad idea. I redirected my gaze toward the Hypello who was busily cleaning the floor across the bar.

"Even if I had to drink nasty vodka to see it." She added with a grin.

"What?" I asked glancing over at her.

"You smiling! Silly, you've got too much on your mind, I was just saying." She chided me playfully. Normally I would have said something about it, but I didn't care to anger her right now.

"Oh, yeah." I remembered and I scolded myself for forgetting and sounding so stupid.

"Do you want to go out on the deck?" Rikku asked. I looked around to see who she was talking to, but apparently she was asking me. "It's just that It's a bit cooler now, it might be nice to get some fresh air." I nodded my head without words and we both got up and went to the elevator.

Our engine had been dying out a bit recently and the elevator moved slower than usual. Rikku was singing some little song in the silence, obviously bored that the trip was taking so long.

"Everything that you feel

Is everything that I feel

So when we dream..."

"Stop singing that awful song!" I told her. She really wasn't very talented and her high pitched voice and love song got on my nerves.

"How about this one?" She asked as she opened her mouth to sing again.

"No, I don't..." I was too late. Dammit, I was too late.

"I'm so miserable...

I hate my life...

I hate my friends...

I don't like anything...

Except alcohol...

And being miserable..." She sang the makeshift song with no tune in a voice that sounded like she was dying.

I shook my head in playful shame, but inside I was smiling. She was cute, swaying around the elevator singing and slouching like a depressed person. However, I reserve the right to deny all of this at a later date.

We finally got to our destination and Rikku bolted from the elevator out onto the red metal deck. It occurred to me when I stepped out onto the metal that it would probably act as a baking sheet and I would be unmercifully sunburned tomorrow. It was cooler than before, but you could still see the heat rising off of the deck at our feet. Luckily the sun and the celsius were lined up perfectly to provide some shade, which is where I immediately placed myself. Rikku ran around hopping for a few moments trying to allow her bare feet to get used to scorching metal, but it failed she soon joined me in the shade as well.

"Ooww." She whined as she slunk down the wall of the ship and held her feet in her hands. "It's hot." She added.

"Of course it's hot," I chastised. "It's metal."

She looked up at me with sad eyes and I almost felt bad for scolding her about it. It was her fault though, she should have known better than to walk out here barefoot. I sighed and sat next to her.

"Are you alright?" I asked, trying to sound a bit more sympathetic to her situation. She didn't answer. I took her hand away from her foot and looked at it. Red, but it would be fine. "Well, there's not any blisters or anything, that's good." I said as I sat back against the wall with her.

It was a few moments before I realized that she wasn't saying anything, and that was highly unusual. I looked at her to make sure she was okay, and her face was burning red.

"Is it too hot out here for you?" I asked moving closer to see if maybe she had a touch of heat stroke. My hip met resistance. And then I realized it.

_Shit!!_

My mind screamed and my heart raced. My hip had bumped into her hand... Which was still held in mine. When I took her hand off of her foot to look at it, I never let go. I couldn't stop my face from turning red as well. How could I be so stupid? I didn't even realize I was holding her hand! Somehow I managed to calm myself for a moment and I jerked my hand away. My mind was still racing, but I miraculously came to the conclusion that if I pretended it never happen maybe she would too.

I looked over at her to see how she had reacted. She had her hands tucked in her chest and a small blush was still seen on her face. She looked at me, her eyes wide and lips parted. We gazed at each other, neither one of us knowing what to do. I wanted to turn back time, do it over. Let go of her hand when I was done looking at her foot and not hold it for full minutes after.

"Why are you two out here? It's so hot." Yuna called from the elevator. For once I was glad for the high summoner's arrival.

"It'll be getting cooler soon, I thought we'd enjoy some air." Rikku called back.

"Well, we're near Besaid, are you two going to come down and say hi to Lulu and Wakka?" She asked.

"Sure." Rikku said as she hopped up and dashed across the deck, trying not to burn her feet again. I stayed there until we landed. I needed some time by myself.

My plan to pretend holding her hand never happened worked well for the most part. Aside from a few odd looks from Yuna when I saw her next. I knew Rikku was bound to tell her, she can't keep anything to herself.

The three of us disembarked from the air ship as soon as we landed on Besaid and made our way over to Wakka and Lulu's hut. For a moment I could have sworn Rikku reached out her hand to me, but she pulled it back before I was sure. The grimace on her face made me thing she did it by instinct and realized it too late.

"Hey you guys, we were expecting you!" Wakka shouted, even though we were three feet away from him.

"Lulu!" Rikku cried and ran to the older woman and hugged her. Lulu smiled and hugged her back. I think I may have been jealous. Maybe not.

"Would you three like to stay for dinner?" Wakka asked. I wanted to say no, just to get that stupid giddy look off of Rikku's face when she heard the question.

"They don't have to stay, I'm here to get away from them for a while." Yuna said. Once more I was happy for the summoner's presence.

"Nonsense, they'll stay." Lulu commanded.

All through dinner heat began to rise in me again. Not sexual heat this time. Anger. The way Rikku doted over Lulu was enraging. She was staring at Lulu, passing her whatever was withing her reach, and jumping over people to pass her what wasn't.

And Lulu... Her breasts were about to pop out of that dress, start flapping, and carry her away at any moment. How anyone thought someone's breasts being squished out of a dress that dress that wouldn't contain them was attractive, I have no idea.

At one point I couldn't help pounding a fist into the table. I mean, I knew Rikku admired her, but this was insane.

Rikku looked at me with wide eyes and caught me shooting a quick glare at Lulu. I don't know if she understood or not, but after that she stopped.

During dessert her hand she wasn't eating with fell from the table. I didn't think anything of it, until her fingers brushed my leg. When I looked at her she just smiled. She didn't stop. Her fingers stayed against my leg until we got up to leave. We said thank you to the hosts and we left.

"Were you jealous in there?" Rikku asked me with a smile.

"Jealous? Of course not." I told her with ice in my voice.

She giggled. Her hand reached out once more. And after a moment of hesitation, her hand was in mine. I didn't look at her. I was afraid to look into her eyes. I'd been so vulnerable today I didn't want her to see anything. But I let her hold my hand as we walked back to the celsius. It may have been a bad idea. Because when I was ready for bed that night, she was nestled in my blankets.


	3. Of Lust and Love

I've decided to put an author's note in this chapter. The second chapter was a little rushed, I know, but I want to get a few out so I can start getting reviews. This one should be better. If you read, please review so I know what you like and don't like about it. I am perfectly open to change things if there's something that needs to be changed. The first elevator song Rikku sings in the last chapter is We Shout by Tatu. The second one I made up myself, don't steal it. (Like you would anyway, right?) I hope you've enjoyed thus far. Thanks, everyone. - Kayla

P.S. This chapter get's a little bit steamy, so be warned.

When I saw Rikku in my bed it was my first instinct to get mad and tell her to sleep in her own bed, but she was lying there so... so... I don't even have a word for it. Cute, yes, but there was more. Seductive, a little, but that was all in my head, I thought.

She was buried in my sheets, only parts of her legs and arms were visible. At this point I wondered if she was wearing anything, but I chided myself for the thought. Of course she was. It's not like she was seducing me to my bed to have sex, even though that would be fine with me. Wait, scratch that. It wouldn't be fine at all.

I was so tempted to tell her to go to her own bed, just so I wouldn't have to deal with what I was dealing with. In truth, it had been years since I felt anything like this. Sure, I had a fling with Nooj a year or so ago, but I never loved him. I never lusted after him. He came lusting after me, so I gave in. I didn't know what else to do.

I never know what to do. I pretend like I'm so clever, but when it comes to love and sex I'm as nervous about it as a virgin teenager. Not that I was any virgin to speak of, I'd had my share of one night stands and sexual relationships that always resulted in a man saying I wasn't good enough. I didn't put enough effort into it. I didn't make him feel good about his manliness. The truth was I just didn't enjoy it. Sex was something I enjoyed when I was by myself, not with someone else.

But then why am I so aroused by the little blonde girl lying in my bed. Why can't I stop myself from imagining what it would feel like to kiss her, caress her, make love to her.

Make love... I don't think I've ever used that phrase before.

"What are you doing?" I asked, hoping to get some kind of an explanation. My head was going wild with sexual phrases I knew I wasn't going to hear.

"I just thought that since Yuna was gone for the night, we could have a little sleep over. Besides, it's starting to rain, and... I don't want to be alone." She gave her last reason with hesitation. I had always teased her about being afraid in a storm. I'm the kind of person that goes outside to watch the lightning and the clouds. It was something beautiful to me, and she was so childish about it. But I guess she's not that far past childhood anyway.

And then I felt guilty. This girl had probably never been sexual with anyone in her life, and here I was, lusting... Perhaps even... No, just lusting, over this innocent girl.

"... Is that okay?" She asked nervously, waiting for a response. I nodded. I wanted to take it back. What if I did something? I didn't want to hurt her. But her smile and the sparkle in her eyes was too much. The irrational side of me begged me not to take it back. And I didn't.

I took off my tank top and shorts and I sat at the edge of my bed. Rikku was staring at me. I could see her gaze move up and down over my body and the look in her eyes changed. I shivered under her stare. We'd dressed in front of each other before, but it hadn't been like this. It hadn't been just the two of us and she'd definitely never been staring with that look in her eyes before. I hesitated for a moment, but I took off my bra and slipped on a t-shirt as quickly as I could. And I got under the covers and laid down, my back facing Rikku.

"This isn't how a sleep over is, you have to facing this way." She said.

"I don't want to." I said, coolly, but she grabbed my shoulder and pulled me over onto my back.

"You've been different today." She said.

"I have not." I demanded. I had, but I refused to admit it.

"You have too, you've been nicer. You even smiled a couple of times, and you're letting me sleep with you, you would have never let me before." She was right, but I didn't say anything. "I just thought... You might feel... How..." She hesitated for a long moment before finishing. "How I feel." She said, finally.

I wanted to ask her what she meant, but I didn't want to at the same time. I didn't want her to say she was in love with me, or something like that. What would I say? I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way? ... Or... I love you too? Was I just denying my feelings for her? I just looked at her and I rolled over to face her. I was coming undone.

"Paine, I think..." I had to shut her up.

"Don't say it!" I shouted at her and she looked like she was going to cry. "Just don't say it..." I said, trying to sound nicer, but it didn't work. Tears were already streaming down her cheeks and onto my pillow.

She whimpered and with a few quick movements she was in my arms. I wasn't sure if I initiated it or if she did, but it didn't really matter. She was in my arms now, and that's all I cared about. She was crying with her face buried in my chest, and I was holding her. Holding her tight. And I felt something I'd never felt before in my life.

"I didn't mean..." I whispered. "I didn't mean that... it wasn't okay. Just... don't say it out loud... not yet." I continued whispering to her, and after a few moments she stopped crying. She looked up at me. Her eyes caught mine, which a tear had managed to escape from as well, and she placed a hand on my cheek. My heart rate picked up as her face inched closer to mine. Her eyes slowly closed and I couldn't help mine from following her example. In a matter of seconds I could feel her breath on my lips. Her nose touched mine and she nuzzled with me for a moment. It was almost like she was teasing me. Her lips would draw so near to mine and when they were just about to touch she would lean her head the other way and do it all over again. I knew she was just unsure of what to do, as was I.

I waited for her. I gave her every opportunity I could to take my lips. I nuzzled along with her and let my lips get so near to hers, and then wait. After a few tries at this, I barely felt her lips against mine. And after a few seconds of waiting she wrapped her arms around my neck and leaned into the kiss. I pulled her against me, and I kissed back. It was best kiss I've ever had in my life. Soft, sweet, and sensual. There were so many feelings the two of us had never shown each other, in that kiss they all came out. I knew I was in love with her. After our lips parted, she just looked at me with her lips parted and a look on her face, both surprised and relieved.

Both of us were exhausted from the emotion and it wasn't long before she snuggled into my arms once again and I waited for her to fall asleep before I fell asleep too. But it was only mere hours later before the thunder woke us both up again. I could feel Rikku shaking in my arms and I knew she was afraid.

"What's wrong?" I asked, but I already knew the answer.

"The storm. It's big." She said.

"Just take your mind off of it. Think of something else." I suggested. But the next burst of thunder and she jumped right into a sitting position.

"Maybe we should go into the lower part of the cabin." She said, leaning over me while she sat.

"It'll be fine here." I told her, trying not to show too much emotion.

In the moments of silence that followed, I caught myself gazing at her. Her blonde hair hung loosely over her shoulders and down her arms. I'd never seen her as beautiful as this.

I reached out my hand and touched her cheek. I was surprised at myself for doing so, but I was even more surprised by her reaction. She quickly brought her hand up and held mine against her cheek so I couldn't take it away, and she closed her eyes and leaned against my hand. It was probably a full two minuted before she slid back under the covers, still with her hand keeping mine on her cheek. It's not like I was going to take it away anyway, but she didn't know that. I rolled onto my side and faced her and my hand slipped behind her head, and this time I didn't hesitate to initiate a kiss.

I pressed my lips against hers and she gladly wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. Her lips parted and even though I knew what would come next it still made me jump when her tongue came out and flitted across my lips. If I had any kind of composure I would have stopped there, but I had wanted this for far too long and all reason had fled my mind. I opened my mouth and her tongue just barely passed my lips. Both of us jumped when our tongues met. We kissed passionately for what seemed like hours and by the time reality came back to me I was semi on top of her and her fingers were toying with my bellybutton. Our tongues were exploring each other's mouth feverishly, one of my hands had managed to sneak under her and around to a panty clad buttock. One of her arms was around my neck, the other was traveling upward from my navel.

"Rikku." I reluctantly broke the kiss and stopped her breathlessly before her hand got too high under my shirt. "It's almost three in the morning." I said.

"But Yuna will be back tomorrow, we may not have another chance." She replied, her chest huffing from excitement.

"It's too early for this anyway, Rikku." I told her. She nodded. She was sad, I knew, but I also knew she agreed. We were going way too fast for any reasonable kind of relationship that might have a potential in the future. A relationship can easily be ruined by sex, I knew that for a fact, even though I wanted her.

"It was good though, right?" She asked playfully as we laid back down to sleep. I didn't answer, but I may have laughed. She was an excellent kisser, which was something I hadn't expected in the beginning, from someone so young. I wondered if she had any other hidden talents, but I would save that question to be answered another time.

She snuggled up to me, while the thunder still rolled and rain pounded on the windows. She didn't seem so scared anymore.

Maybe she found something else to think about.


End file.
